Rejoicing after the Ceremony
Jews are commanded to rejoice with the bride and groom on their wedding day – ״לשמח חתן וכלה״ lesameach chatan ve’kallah. A marriage is a special occasion both for the couple and the community, and all are encouraged to celebrate. Anyone who partakes in a wedding meal is specifically enjoined to make merry with the bride and groom.
There are many ways in which this instruction to rejoice is carried out:
Music
The inclusion of music as part of the wedding celebration dates back to the Bible. In the Talmudic era rabbis would often lead assembled wedding guests in song.
While there are no particular pieces of music that Jewish law suggests for the wedding, there are some compositions which are typically not used. Specifically, Wagner’s wedding march (popularly known as ‘Here Comes the Bride’) is generally avoided, because of his widely known anti-Semetism. In addition, Mendelssohn’s ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream,’ often used as recessional music to accompany the wedding party as they depart from the ceremony, is steered clear of in most Jewish weddings, as Mendelssohn rejected his Judaism and converted to Christianity.
Jews are commanded to rejoice with the bride and groom on their wedding day
Dancing
Dancing is an iconic and essential part of a joyous Jewish wedding. Folkdances, especially the Hora, are often the focus of this aspect of the celebration, although a great many couples include secular dancing as well. The culmination of the dancing is the traditional lifting of the bride and groom on chairs, so that they may bounce merrily above the crowd, joined together by sharing hold of a napkin or handkerchief.
The Badhan
There was a longstanding tradition among Eastern European Jews that a wedding feast be presided over by a sort of master of ceremonies, whose function was to provide merriment for the couple and their wedding guests. This figure, known as the badhan, was something of a jester-like character, who would tell jokes and perform tricks. Having a badhan at one’ wedding fell out of favour in the last century, but the legacy of this custom lives on in the practice of having guests dress up in funny costumes and perform entertaining tricks for the bride and groom.